The History of Ellen

continuing this blog thing at http://katieslifejourney.blogspot.com which I found at http://www.pinklemonadeblog.blogspot.com/

I have two sisters.  They are close in age, but I came along a few years (7) later.  That meant that my teen years were largely spent as an only child.  My sister Nancy lives about 3 hours away, but I have figured that for most of our lives she has lived several thousand miles away in one way or another.  She has two boys, who have grown up incredibly fast.  She works for a major (ahem great commercials….”Wee Wee Wee….” all the way home) insurance company, and I think she works too much.  I’m sure we’ll see each other over the holidays.  We’ll probably play Monopoly, she loves games.  Her favorite color is orange, and so is her favorite flavor.  I think that is funny.  She adores her kids, and is very proud of her recent high school graduate.  Her younger is a buddy of mine, and we spent a lot of time together this summer going to the lake, watching bad TV, having “lazy days” where we didn’t get dressed or make beds until 5 o’clock or so when my husband was due home.  It was great.  Her big boy is like his mom and works works works.  I hope he is able to get his license and a car soon.

My sister Jane is in a word, BOSS.  She is living large (she’s not) and in charge.  What she says, GOES.  It’s kind of always been that way with her.  She can command a large group of people and everyone does what they are supposed to do.  (WELL, most of us).   She is the hostess when we are all in vicinity and her house is always welcoming, clean, and has plenty of good food.  This year she grew a ton of food in her garden.  She is a lot like our mom, but different, too.  I think her leadership comes from my dad – a Commander. (Ret., US Navy).  Jane has 5 kids, all grown.  Four boys, who have been the most challenging boys in the Universe to raise.  One daughter, who was easy peasy to raise.  Hmmmmm.  Why was my ONE daughter so hard?  I think Jane has had more than her share of crap fall out of the sky on her life.  I am hopefull that with her 3rd grandchild will come more peaceful times.  It’s a boy!

I guess I will devote a line or two to in-law siblings.  I’ve had two.  Both of my husbands have been the older brother in a family of two boys.  My ex-brother-in-law was actually a decent dude in some ways.  He is definitely a mama’s boy and still lives in the apartment downstairs from his mother – with his wife and all.  He was arrogant and weird, and I am glad I don’t have to interact with him anymore.   My current brother-in-law, Scott’s brother, was a good friend of ours until recently.  He’s made some bad choices and put his brother in a bad situation, and therefore we are taking a break from him.  He lives in Texas and I’ve never even met two of his three kids, so the relationship has never been there.   I have two other ex-brother-in-laws, but they don’t merit any of my blogging space or time.  I have one other brother-in-law and that is Jane’s hub.

Mark B.  is what we call him here as Katie’s beau is also a Mark.  Mark is an extremely hard worker.  He is a man’s man.  Macho man.  I reluctantly say here that he is also an underestimator of his own abilities, and that one little thing – his underestimation – keeps him back to a small extent.  He can chop down trees, rebuild cars into show cars, do plumbing, electrical, landscaping, and laundry 🙂 like a machine.  He can be a jerk (like all of us) but he has integrated into the family and we accept him as he is.  I left off he can drive a mean 18 wheeler.  I feel bad that he is doing “over-the-road” trucking now and hasn’t been home in forever.  Oh, he is Scottish, so we get to learn about all that Scottish stuff and go to Highland games and what not.  I think he should do Ice Road Truckers and make a ton of cash.  He had an awesome mom and grandma, who still provide us with stories.  “Best thing I ever lapped a lip over!” And two of Janes kids are actually his boys…and maybe someday more babies will be in the family.

We yell, we get mad, we trash talk, we fight, but in the end, we have each other’s backs.

The End.

OMG this blogging challenge is going to be a doozy.

My parents are enigmatic to me in terms of their relationship.  I know they must have started out as a quite passionate love story based on pictures, but I never really saw much affection between them.  I have seen incredible loyalty that defies logic at times, but is truly….incredible

My relationship with each of them has been very volatile at times, and at times, very good.   There is sort of a before/after theme with them.  Before I fulfilled, albeit partially, their expectations for me it was strained.  Now that I have become educated, which was one of their expectations, we are better.  Age also contributes.

My mom and I are best buddies, I tell her everything and I love everything she loves and am mostly in awe of all she can do and has done.

My dad is complicated.  I guess for children of parents with some sort of dementia, mild, moderate or severe, the relationships are all complicated.  My dad was an athlete, a scientist, a craftsman, a farmer, a framer, a hero, a drinker, a non-drinker inspiration to many, a friend, a foe, a jerk, and even at times an asshole.  He had a tough upbringing, and that explains some of him, but not all.  He didn’t show us affection in normal ways, but he did teach us lessons.  Lessons on ball catching and throwing, planting seeds, washing cars, and generally doing jobs the “right” way.  Sometimes now, when visiting, he is very affectionate, kisses on the cheek, kind words, and even though those are good, they feel awkward as they were so sparse growing up.  And, the most difficult thing is, or I guess things are, that the man who to me growing up was the smartest man in the world, now struggles with names, faces, dates, and simple instructions.   I hate Alzheimers.  I hate it more than anything.  I’d rather have my dad and his total person, with all his grumpiness and cantankerousness, than to have him be “not there.”  The worst is that he knows that he is not there, so a bit of pride comes in…and I am impatient (like him) and it is hard for me to repeat the same information, or to answer questions when the answer, to me, is obvious.   I also feel bad for my mom.  Her only companion now is Fritz, her little dachsund.  Fritz is great, but he can’t have an intellectual discussion (NO, he really can’t mom, although he is a genius) and my mom, whose mind is sharp as a tack, must feel some isolation.   I’m sure having all of us close to her helps to an extent.

So that is my parents.   Best memory:  Skinned knee on walk with parents, dad put me on his shoulder and cooled my wound with his can of Bud – which I took for show-and-tell to school the next day.   Mom re-enacting the pot scene from 9-5 with her girlfriends from work, and getting so skinny she could wear my Calvin Kleins and my Agner (were they hers?) boots….

Well, it ain’t Jesus for damn sure.

If it has to be a romantic love, I’d say Jimmy Clark in first grade.  He had black hair and bright blue eyes and a devlish smile.  Oh, I chased him around that playground every day….

but that was just puppy love

Not going to write about my ex-husband.  But, he was the first.  Yuck.

I rather like to the topic of my Best Love, and that is my current husband; who drives me nuts with his autism and ocd but who takes care of me and who knew! I need taking care of?  But, I do.  And, I have sort of succumbed to it.

I teach history, I love history so this is MY history.  I initially intended to write the history of random objects, and I have done that to an extent. i have found other topics more intriguing.  I believe everything has a history, and telling that history is just telling a story.

15 facts and a recent photo

http://katieslifejourney.blogspot.com

1.  14 hour days at work are tiring

2. My feet have blistery callouses….yuck.

3.  I have 11 cats, but I only got to pet 2 today – they are recluses

4.  I work with a woman who looks and acts like a witch….not the good kind.

5.  I have a loyal and loving albeit neurotic dog.

6.  I love wine.

7.  I love many of my coworkers.

8.  My husband does all the cooking, all the laundry, a lot of the housework, all the finances, and most of the animal upkeep.  Oh, and all the dishes.  I don’t feel an ounce of guilt over it.

9.  I really, really, truly need to go to Spain.  It is my birthplace.  It calls to me.  With its wine and tapas, and cheese and ham, and bulls.  Ole!

10.  I have made the decision to go to law school.  Finally.  Let the research on law schools begin!

11.  I miss my girl.  She and I have an awkward existence, something that would have seemed impossible 6 years ago.

12.  I fear Thursdays that are cool and lovely when I have a positive attitude…. see number 11.  IT was a Thursday.

13.  I love french toast, but it is so hard to get just right…crisp, buttery, not too eggy, not too sweet…….

14.  I had a good time teaching today….shhhhh don’t tell.

15.  I read too many blogs.

RECENT PHOTO:recent = 5 years ago

So, the school year is in full swing as I avoid completing the first interim grades. I am still feeling trepidacious and trying to do my best to not get burned out. My paychecks have actually decreased as health insurance rates went up. I thought with the health care reform that wouldn’t be the way it worked, but if my students can get healthcare, I’ll work for less.

I have some wonderful students. Almost all, and really I can’t think of any that don’t, try their best. Many of them seem to be very distrustful of teachers. So many of the teachers last year were so bad, that I don’t blame them. It goes back to my rant last spring about people in the profession who don’t care. I can’t imagine being a teacher and not caring about students. It’s like a doctor who doesn’t care about patients, a network administrator who hates computers. Incongruous.

Teaching Language Arts is ok, but I am so lacking that I am sure I need to get some major help. I love to read, and I love words and playing with language, but in reality, my background knowledge is weak as the California school system in the 70’s didn’t have a good English curriculum. Mr. Powell (was that his name?) was pretty good, but I hated him. Mrs. DeLong was awful. The majority of what i have learned about reading has come from my mother and father, both voracious readers.

Right now I have a handful of students who I don’t mesh with well. One is in serious need of psychotherapy, one who I fear will end up in prison, and a few who are followers of those two. I have never seen a group of manipulative manipulators before. It is odd. I am at a crossroads with one who feels like I am “picking on” her. If making her restate phrases like “that be whack” is picking, so be it. If she wants out of my class for that, oh well. I will be a soldier for proper English. I love and admire all languages, wish I could speak more, but I think we should be true to each one, even whilst recognizing that they evolve. I’m not a fan of ebonics, at least not in an American English classroom.

Changing topics: I finished my portrait of Katie. It came out wonderful and I am so shocked that I could do it. Bill Harris is a magician when it comes to teaching painting. Today, it was kind of amusing to notice a student of his who didn’t follow any of his direction and had a crappy painting. The man knows what he is doing, and I am so inspired and uplifted by it, that the cost is worth every penny. I know that the painting could use more work, but once it said to me, “I am Katie” I stopped. i think Bill would have had me do more, but sometimes, a painting is just done. I feel free now that I have finished it. I am only painting things I love deeply. If you spend so much time and energy on something, it should be something that one has passion about. The best news I’ve had in months is that Katie saw it and thought it was great. I’m on cloud 9. I hope I don’t fall through.

This is a stream of consciousness that came to me about 9/11 as I was watching a show on the telly about it….

i remember when the first plane hit, watching it on TV, that it was a small plane and a tragic accident….
Then the 2nd one hit, and it was obvious….
Then, since I was teaching, I had no more access to news for a while, and when i did – before the towers collapsed, I thought – there will be spectacular helicopter rescues and they will get all of them out…..
Then, the news scrolled across that the towers might collapse…
In my non-scientific mind, i thought they’d fall like dominoes, and OMG, all the buildings in their way!!
I had no understanding of imploding, and the way they would demolish, despite having seen demolishion of buildings videos.

Only now, 9 years later, as I watch a show on Discovery or NatGeo, or whatever, do I see people jumping from the building, and only now do I allow myself to ponder the choice of jump or burn. How awful.

I am so thankful that I was given enough intelligence to not blame an entire religion for the acts of a few zealots. I pity – to an extent – and loathe more profoundly – those who blame ane entire religion for 9/11. It is those latter ones who perpetuate the violence and terrorism, and they dont’ even know it. So fucking sad.

Found this idea on  babbling abby who got it from I Teach for a Living…
from Murdock’s Mama.
Outside my window.. sunny and warm – not too hot
The time is: 1:20

I am feeling: sad that summer is over and I didn’t get to the beach.

I am thinking: How will this school year go?

At the moment, I am thankful..that I had a long summer break
I am going.. nowhere today, but later I may clean/do laundry.
I am wearing.. pajamas
I wish.. I could do more to fix the problems in th world

I am reading..nothing at this moment really, but a stack awaits
I am working on.. painting
I am hoping.. that my students will not be drama filled ghetto rats
I am hearing.. meow, meow
I bet you didn’t know.. I am a loner and pretty shy
One of my favorite…things is to read about court cases and unsolved murders
My weekend plans include.. finishing the bathroom, doing laundry, going to painting class, making spaghetti, probably going out to breakfast and reading the Sunday Post.

babbling abby
is doing teacher week, so here is my first entry, and hopefully more to come.
Ten things about me as a teacher
1. I really became a teacher because I believe in the notion that having an educated public leads to a better nation and society. Really.
2. I have a dry sense of humor and can be sarcastic, and blunt. Don’t take it personally.
3. I’ve been teaching for 15 years. I think I kind of have the hang of it mostly. I still like to learn and try new things, though.
4. Parents can be soooo dumb. If I hear, “he said you don’t give any homework” “he says he does his homework at school” I will scream. Also, if your kid was a behavior problem before, don’t act surprised that your kid is still one. And, if he/she has never been one, and is suddenly now doing stuff to act out – pay attention! Oh, and don’t criticize my teaching to your kid, it prevents a good relationship. I mean, I don’t bitch about your stupidity to your kid….although I’d like to sometimes.
5. I loathe grading papers. I try, (and am going to try more) things to minimize this task. I wish I had an assistant who would do it for me, and then show me the papers for me to review and note where I need to reteach, teach better, etc. I just don’t have the energy or desire to do both.
6. I really want to have fun during the day. I don’t want to sit through boring drudgery, so I like to find ways to make it fun. BUT…if I have to expend energy on kid’s stupid adolescent drama, other teachers’ stupid adolescent drama, and ridiculous meetings, I don’t feel like taking the time to find fun stuff. I fall into this trap every year, and last year I never got out of it. I’m gonna work real hard to stop that from happening.
7. I love to have a neat organized classroom that is decorated in a cute way. But, I hate taking the time to keep up with it….
8. This time of year, I plan bulletin boards, and fun lessons, and cute outfits to wear, and get so excited! By Thursday after Labor Day, I am over it.
9. I know how a great principal can make the school so wonderful. I have begun many sentences with “If I were principal…” But, I have very little desire to actually be a principal.
10. I have these weird urges in school buildings: pull the fire alarm, tell people what I REALLY think, paint the walls in my room (oh! if I could I would!), and burn candles. OH, and smoke. LOL.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I work in a snake pit. **disclaimer: I have nothing against snakes themselves, and am using hyperbole and stereotypical characteristics of snakes.

In discussing my last school year I realized that it was like being in a snake pit. If I planned and executed a good lesson or unit, the kids were less than enthusiastic and it would flop. If they did well, learned and made progress, then it was someone else in the building that had to snipe, bite or stab at something I may or may not have said or done. So, if it wasn’t the kids, it could be the upper echelon.

Then, there were the co-workers. Now, I have a small circle of co-workers who are a real team and who have my back, and I have theirs, this does not apply to them and they know who they are. The rest, literally all the rest, are not trustable. They are not in education to be educators, but are there, in my opinion because they can have a schedule that is compatible with their kids’. Or, perhaps, they got into teaching, and although don’t like it, they stay and stay and stay. These people deflate my enthusiasm. They are toxic. And, their toxicity is damaging to the profession, and to the students.

I long to leave the snake pit. But, what good will that do? It will still be there, and in good conscience, I don’t want to see others have to endure that pit of vipers. So, somehow I must change things. How? I have no idea.

I feel like I should write a mission statement or something about this. That won’t do much good however. I want to stand up at the first faculty meeting and say something like this:

I and many of you are in this profession because of a profound belief that a good education is vital to our society and country. Some, if not most, of our students don’t have that belief instilled in them at home, so we must take that on here ourselves. To do that we must be dedicated to it, in word, and in deed. If you are not feeling that profound belief, if you are here for other reasons, I will no longer stand silently by and say nothing. I will point out when you don’t enforce the rules, don’t demand dedication and excellence from students. I will also insist that you allow for student success. All students don’t learn the same way. If you are losing their work, grading too harshly, giving pointless assignments, setting them up to fail, I will also point it out and demand you do better. If you mock students, tease them, bully them, and scare them, I will block you. If you are complaining that you are being dinged for not having enriching lessons, and you fail to reflect on ways you can positively change, and instead whine and moan and insist you are doing it right, I will point out to you that we all need to renew and refresh our styles from time to time. And, finally, if I am guilty of any of the above, I expect you to call me on it, and demand I get my shit together.

And that goes for the cafeteria, too. Make some healthy food that tastes good! I am sometimes too focused on teaching and all those duties to pack a good lunch, or breakfast, and it would be nice to have a healthy alternative, instead of being so tired/stressed that I opt for the easy way out and eat that garbage.

And library, look, it’s not personal, but you should be a haven for students who love to read, and an inspiration to those that don’t. Book Clubs, author visits, Literary Cafe, all of these should be going on. Book Talks monthly, coordinating with content areas, should be going on. Let’s GO!

Focusing on the positive is another area I want to improve at our school. We have a ton of great stuff going on, and an email here and there saying good job isn’t enough recognition. I want to see posters of the pics and collages in celebration, and announcements on the all-day power point, and the principals on the TV proclaiming the Raider Pride!

Steel band, step team, sports teams, music department (no one really knows what they do), the P.E. dept. –some areas where we do a lot of good things. And more can be done! If there were more emphasis on appreciating the extra things, then more extra things would be done, and more
positive to focus on!

I want the admin to own the building and be a visible presence. Encourage the kids to care for their school and the environment of the school. Back the teachers up – give us guidelines – and make us adhere to them. It is not micromanagement to communicate and enforce expectations, it is just management. To state expectations and then walk away is not really having expectations. I want community involvement, Quantico, Ft. Belvoir, the businesses and services of the county visible in the school. Our population doesn’t (yet) have a sense of pride in their community – rather they cling to the countries of their parents’ origin and don’t assimilate into America. We are the ones who have to help with that! Their parents need to be a part of our building whether they speak English or not.

Whew! I could write more, as this just all came spilling out, but I’ll stop there.